Wednesday’s Word: dingleberry

I started with a lot of questions about this word. Is it one word or two? Is it dingle or dingel? And what exactly does it mean? I thought it referred to animal droppings, specifically the kind that come out in small round pellets, deer shit for example.

One definition of dingleberry is, courtesy of Merriam-Webster, “a foolish, stupid or contemptible person.” Synonyms include chowderhead, dingbat, schlemiel and doofus. You get the idea.

Laurel and Hardy
(image by Gerhard G.)

And then there is an actual berry called a dingleberry. Scientifically speaking it is a vaccinium erythrocarpum. That is a small dark red berry similar to a cranberry that is found in the southeast United States.

But neither of those represent the most common definition and usage of the word dingleberry. There are many ways in which this definition has been expressed with varying degrees of specificity and explicitness. Some are awkward and some are disgusting. I dug deep into the Urban Dictiobary to find this most elegantly stated definition of dingleberry:

“A smallish, semi-dry, extraordinarily tenacious remnant of fecal matter which, when unwittingly rolled into a mixture with toilet paper lint by the action of wiping, becomes almost irremovably entangled among ones anal hair, a situationality exacerbated by the vigorous chafing and friction between the buttocks and most commonly remedied by the sad and almost entirely unavoidable remedy of plucking out at its root the individual hair to which each dingleberry is conjoined.”

I will pass on providing photos of this one. I have no interest in searching for them and hope to never be in a position to take a shot myself.

With that definition in mind, consider some of these uses of the word dingleberry.

In California in the John Muir Wilderness there is a Lake Dingleberry. Apparently the lake got its name from the sheep that surround it, sheep that have dingleberries hanging from their backsides.

Lake Dingleberry
This is not Lake Dingleberry, but you get the idea (image by Gina Dolenc)

If you live near Columbus, Ga., you could take advantage of the services provided by Dingleberry’s Pet Waste Removal.

Dingleberry's Pet Waste Removal
Dingleberry beer

Untappd, the app for beer aficionados, has a listing for a Dingleberry beer, a product of the microbrewer Hell ‘n Blazes. It is described as “A Sour German wheat beer aged on boysenberry and passion fruit to give a tart slightly sweet flavor with a dry finish.”

If you prefer something harder, the Cocktail Builder offers up a recipe for a Dingleberry: a combination of root beer schnapps, Jagermeister, Crown Royal and wine. (offtheleash.net disavows any responsibility for what might happen if you go into a bar and order a Dingleberry.)

And last but not least you can go onto Amazon and order up a Dingleberry candle. No idea if it is scented and, if so, with what.

Dingleberry candle
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Wednesday’s Word: dingleberry

  1. Henry Lewis says:

    I highly respect Muslims all over the world for their diligence in providing sprayers beside each and every toilet, and thereby, eliminating even the mere possibility of developing dingleberries on one’s backside. Americans (and Brits etc etc) have a lot to learn about hygiene. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Kelly MacKay says:

    Lol…gave me a giggle..

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This essay is berry, berry good!

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Haha, don’t even want to imagine what the candle would smell like! Maggie

    Liked by 1 person

  5. rabirius says:

    The Lake Dingleberry picture is really beautiful.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply to Henry Lewis Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.